There goes another Sacred Childhood memory!

I was doing my normal morning routine- breakfast at work with a little bit of current events- when I saw this article. “GI Joe movie for 2009? HELL YEAH!” I said, not thinking about the other relics of my younger years that Hollywood has destroyed.
Following the links, I found pictures of the actors and actresses who would play the characters. This is when I got angry. Duke, who was supposed to be so cool, turns out to be this slightly homosexual character who should grace Men’s Vogue or GQ or something, and not play a major role in a fictional military group. Cobra? The actor looks like a caricature even out of costume. Sienna Miller as a bad gal? Sure, but… nevermind. Marlon Wayans? Are you kidding?
Some things I was fairly pleased with. Dennis Quaid is the man. They made him General Hawk. Good call. Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje as Heavy Duty- Yes. Yes indeed! Rachel Nichols (she’s easy on the eyes) as Scarlett- this is makes sense, from a looks-only standpoint. I’m even a little pleased with their choice to play president. Jonathan Pryce will play that role, the only other role I can recall him in was the bad-guy media mogul in one of the Pierce Brosnan 007 flicks.
The only thing (ok, other than Rachel Nichols) that makes me happy about this movie is Ray Parks for Snake Eyes. Not only does this costume look exactly like the character from the action figures/cartoon, but it’s Ray “Darth Maul” Parks from Starwars Episode 1. That guys was bad-ass. I wonder if they will give him a voice-over? I don’t recall Snake Eyes ever talking…
This movie should initially make money then tank. Three Stars.

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