Sprint

As a general rule of thumb for a business, it's probably not the greatest thing in the world to call people up who have complained in the past to see if they are satisfied with their service, only to remind the customer what a bumbling set of nincompoops pissed them off in the first place.

About 9 months ago someone who spoke just enough English to memorize her script called to offer Sarah and I a joint cell plan, as we had had our own separate plans up to that point. My plan was pretty old so I didn't get many minutes by "modern" standards, phones on the same plan can call each other an unlimited amount, and it was roughly $10 dollars cheaper. I told her that sounded fine and she proceeded to ask me questions about the new plans' third line. I told her we didn't want a third line, she said it was included, and we volleyed that issue back and forth a few times, each time with me reiterating that I did not want a 3rd line if it was even one cent more than the new plan with only two lines.

A week or so later we receive our nothing special "free" phone and I activate it and do all that. I figure we can leave it plugged in behind the TV and use it when we lose our cells, or they die, or whatever.

We get our bill a month later: The phone was $30, the third line is $10 a month, and the total bill is $230. I contacted customer service and complained. There was "nothing" they could do for me. The person never made any special notes about promising me a free anything. It was completely irrelevant to them that I was misled in a conversation where there was no mistaking what I was asking. The phone wasn't supposed to be free, there was no note telling them I talked them into a free phone (why would there be), so the fact that I was told the phone/new line was free didn't matter.

At this point, however, that was just a minor annoyance compared to dealing with the $230 bill both back then, and then having a fresh set of eyes looking at it today. They trust the system at these cell phone places so fully that they don't actually take time to put thought into what is going on. Everyone I've discussed the issue with just keeps trying to explain how the bill is higher than normal because it was a prorated part month plus a month for the new plan. My old plan totaled $60 and this new plan was $60 after the third line. No one could explain to me how this was an example of prorating and not double billing and something else. What they charged was worse than double billing. Unless "prorated" means "we double the cost of your plans then add them together" I'm not the confused one in this conversation.

I really felt like the famous Verizon guy trying to walk these people through the math. Part of a month at $60 + the rest of the month at $60 should be somewhere around $60. Being charged the full value of both plans would be $120. How in the world do you reach $230, even factoring everything else ($230 - $30 phone - fees = roughly $180)? They just keep using the word "prorated" as if that explains a $120 discrepancy. Trying to work numbers with these people is like trying to explain Calculus to 5 year olds.

Adding insult to injury with the followup "were you satisfied by us doing nothing over half a year ago?" call: After once again getting no where on the math, and no credit for what I was told was free again, she told me she could cancel the third line if I wanted, but there would be a $200 termination fee. (You have 30 days from the day you agree on the phone to cancel. You don't get your first bill for more than 30 days....anyone see the problem?)

The lesson I basically knew before this, but I now know to make no exceptions for (no matter easy something seems like it should be), is that if you're contacted by anyone, trying to sell anything, just hang up. Also, that Sprint can suck it.

Ps. Just to cut off the "well, you should have seen this coming, why would they call to offer you something cheaper than you were paying them for." talk. 1) It's not all that uncommon for people to offer lower rates to good customers to keep good customers. 2) More importantly, my old contract was up soon thereafter.